Customer Service 1

Just this past week I've had a variety of interesting characters for customers. In one day three tables side-by-side there was a two-top (table of two), a four-top (table of four) and another two top (table of two) all in a row. The first two had ordered steak and was so irate by the steak not being medium-rare that they got up and stormed out. The other two top decided to quiz me on the qualifications to cook the steak that he was considering and his methods as well as the cook/chefs education and standards. The woman at the second two top had ordered a salmon with veggies dish but sent it back because it was to fishy. The four top was fine and actually wrote me a note saying they apologize that I had to deal with that guy. This was all in the same shift, on the same day, in a literal row; all three of these tables literally were seated right next to each other until-the Polynesian dude stormed out without paying, the four left for the school dance and the idiot who wanted to quiz me on the qualifications of the cook and his wife had sent back her salmon (which I ate while they were still in the restaurant)-.

The Polynesian guy also says he's never coming back, I'm not sure if he's aware of it yet but not only am I telling the world about his dumb butt but I really don't care.

Next time anyone wishes to go out to eat please read your menu or get out.

 What you order is what you get and what you get isn't always what you deserve. I could get arrested if I gave you what you deserve.

No Solicing Please

I have a deep seated loathing of unsolicited services, especially from people who expect to get all my personal information and none of mine. Just in case that could potentially be misinterpreted please read the sign above.

1/ I have no money and am to broke to spend any time on your pain in the butt self so get your dumb self off of my property, off my phone and out of my inbox.

2/ My personal sense of politics is nobody's business so don't get offended when I tell you that's none of your business who I vote for or if I vote at all.

3/ Same goes for religion, it's not your business so don't go getting ignorant if I don't tell you what my religion is or even if I have a religion, that's personal and even if it wasn't it's still none of your business.

4/ I prefer the Samoa cookies please, mix coconut and chocolate and you will have a fan for life.

5/No joke here, just leave and don't come back unless I personally confirm that I asked for your visit or you are a friend of mine. No business or services beyond doing my laundry and offering me free food please.

I'll bring the laundry out to the porch for you. When you're done just leave it folded neatly on the bench so I can come out and pick it up later.